{The Pregnancy}
On April 24, 2011, Easter Sunday, Brandon and I were surprised to see two pink lines appear on a pregnancy test. We had talked about adding a new little bundle of joy to our family, but we were in waiting phase before starting infertility treatments. It had taken us so long to conceive Chloe that we were anticipating the same challenge with baby number two. We were excited and a little overwhelmed, but absolutely thrilled.
As the pregnancy progressed, I was sick, but not nearly as sick as I had been with Chloe. It was just a different "sick." I would wake up in the middle of the night and run to the bathroom to throw up. At our prenatal visit near sixteen weeks, we discovered that our little baby was a boy. Brandon was beside himself; he was so excited to have a little guy join our family after living in a world of pink for two years.
I started to notice swelling in my feet early in my pregnancy, and I had terrible headaches that couldn't be relieved. We prepared for a family trip to California that would be half business and half pleasure. Chloe was so excited to return to Disneyland! As we landed in Long Beach, we joked about how terribly swollen my feet were! I had struggled to find shoes to wear to my meetings and to Disneyland. I continued to become increasingly more swollen as the trip progressed, and when we returned to Ogden, I made an appointment to see my midwife right away. I was spilling protein, which prompted her to run a few more tests and put me on bed rest for the weekend. During Conference Weekend, I rested and recovered. Chloe would lay in our bed with me and watch Conference by me because she had "fat feet, too." On Monday, we returned to my Midwife's office. After a long wait, she poked her head into our room and said that we needed to go to the hospital right away. She turned my care over to her supervising Ob/Gyn.
{His Birth}
I started crying. I was really scared about the whole situation. I was only 28 weeks along. The Ob/Gyn came into the exam room and indicated that I just had mild preeclampsia. They were admitting me to the hospital for a couple of days simply for observation. He relayed that I would be home in a couple of days, but likely on bed rest for the remainder of the pregnancy. Brandon and I drove home to gather my things. I wasn't prepared at all to head to the hospital. We had finished our little guys nursery and bought a few sleepers for him to wear, but that was about it.
As I entered the hospital, I refused to even change into a gown because I wasn't there to have a baby, just to be observed. However after the CNA took my blood pressure and performed a few preliminary assessments, I had a swarm of nurses in my room. One of the nurses relayed how serious my condition was. Chloe was getting really restless, and I told Brandon that he and Chloe could go home for a while. The nurse interrupted me and said that it would be best for Brandon to stay at the hospital and for Chloe to leave. We started to understand how critical things had quickly become.
It was shift change for the nurses, and I soon had a new nurse, who indicated I was the sickest patient on their floor. They started Magnesium Sulfate to prevent seizures and a stroke and blood pressure medicine. The Mag made me feel so hot and vomit violently. I barely responded to the blood pressure medicine. Soon, the Ob/Gyn was standing at the end of my bed running his fingers through his hair trying to figure out how to bring my blood pressure down. He conveyed that he was really concerned that I was going to have a stroke because my blood pressure was simply too high. I had severe preeclampsia. Liz drove up from St. George to take care of Chloe; Liz just started crying when she saw me. The night was terrible. I really don't remember very much. I was so sick and so scared for my little baby. Brandon stayed with me all night. We were scheduled to meet with the Maternal Fetal Medicine physician as soon as he arrived in the morning. It was determined that it was too dangerous for me to remain pregnant, and we were scheduled for an emergency c-section at 1:30pm.
I was wheeled into the c-section suite at 1:30 pm. The c-section began and soon our little son was born. They showed quickly showed us our small baby who was just forced into the world. He was so incredibly small; I couldn't believe it. They rushed him to the NICU, and I began to panic. The CRNA gave me medicine to sleep through the rest of the procedure. Brandon joined our son in the NICU as I was wheeled to my room.
Our beautiful little boy, Talon David Nanney, was born on October 4th, 2011. He weighed 2lbs 8oz and was 14 inches long. Instantly, we were in love with our darling son.
{The NICU)
We were prepared for Talon to have a long stay in the NICU. Everyone warned us of the NICU roller coaster, but we had no idea how hard it would be. Talon did not breath on his own when he was born. He was intubated and given medicine to help his little lungs, but he was extubated during the first night. I couldn't believe what a little miracle he was; so perfectly formed and beautiful. He was fed, changed, etc. every three hours. During these "care times" were were allowed to touch Talon, and I was able to hold him during his feeding once a day.
While I was still in the hospital, we had a stream of visitors. My parents hurried up from St. George, Brandon's parents, our siblings, grandparents and friends all came to meet our tiny Talon. Chloe was super confused; she couldn't go see baby Talon, but she was super happy that he had arrived.
As I left the hospital, I was just numb. People kept asking if we were sad to leave our little Talon in the hospital, but we both felt that it was such a good place for him to be. There was just no way we could take care of him at home. Brandon and I would visit Talon daily, at least once or twice. Talon was diagnosed with a PDA, a small valve in his heart had not closed yet, but it is a very common condition in preemies. He had episodes of apnea everyday and other challenges, but overall, he progressed well. Before we knew it, he was back at his birth weight and working to continue to grow.
On Wednesday the 19th of October, Brandon, Chloe and I went to the hospital in the morning drop off milk for Talon. Brandon and I took turns going into see him. He had a rough day on the 18th with lots of apnea episodes, but he was doing much better on the 19th. We returned at 5:00pm to hold Talon. As I held him, he cried and cried. He had never been so agitated before. He would calm down when I patted his little back and sang softly to him. After 45 minutes, I suggested to the nurse that we should let Brandon hold him for a while, even though we had exceeded our normal amount of time to hold our little Talon. I sat in the waiting room and played with Chloe while Brandon stayed with Talon. The nurse suggested that perhaps is increased oxygen flow could cause his agitation. We left the NICU and took Chloe to grab some dinner.
As we pulled into the driveway, I received a call from Talon's nurse. We needed to head up to the hospital. Talon's condition had gotten worse. We met Brandon's parents in the park and ride in Farr West and hurried up to the hospital. When we arrived, we were informed that Talon's abdomen was swollen and distended. After a series of x-rays, the nurse inserted a small tube Talon's abdomen to relieve some of the pressure. He settled down, and we felt confident that we could go home.
{Primary Children's Medical Center}
We picked Chloe up from Brandon's parents and arrived home around 1:30am. At 5:25 am we were awakened by my phone. It was the NICU, and they told us we needed to get back up to the hospital as soon as we could. We quickly gathered Chloe and drove her to Brandon's parents before speeding to the hospital. While we were en route to the hospital, we received a call from the Neonatologist. Talon's condition had deteriorated very quickly, and he needed to be life flighted to Primary Children's. When we arrived at the NICU, we found our Talon again intubated and in complete distress. We waited anxiously for the life flight team to arrive. I gave our sweet baby a kiss before he was loaded up for his first flight.
I had neglected to take my blood pressure medicine before we left for the hospital so Brandon and I had to quickly head home before traveling to Salt Lake. We gathered a few things to ensure that we were prepared for a day at Primary's. As we started toward Salt Lake, I received a call from the Neonatologist at Primary Children's Medical Center. She gently told me that based on her review of Talon's latest diagnostic tests and her conversations with the life flight team, his intestines were likely entirely dead. The Neonatologist explained that we could proceed with a surgery to see if any portion of Talon's intestines could be preserved or we could elect to not do the surgery based on his current condition. I told her that we had a two-year-old daughter who had never met her little brother, and I asked if it would be possible for her to hold our tiny Talon. She kindly said that accommodations could certainly be made for Chloe to meet Talon, and we exited I-15 and hurried to pick up Chloe.
As we drove to Salt Lake, we received a call from the surgeon at Primary's. He strongly recommended that we proceed with the surgery. He indicated that because there were no other issues with Talon, we should proceed with any and all efforts to preserve his life. Talon underwent surgery in the NICU, and we waited anxiously for any good news. During his surgery, Brandon and I were informed by the Neonatologsts that Talon had Necrotizing Entercolitis and his intestines were completely dead. There was no way for him to survive. They told us that they would keep Talon alive to allow us to spend the day with him and to allow time for him to receive a Name and a Blessing. The surgeon met with us and again relayed the findings of the surgery. There are not words to express how absolutely heartbroken we are.
We were shown into a family room inside of the NICU. Our beautiful baby Talon was brought to us, and we clung to our darling son. Chloe was so excited to hold Talon. She kept saying, "I know, bubba, I know." Brandon held Talon in his arms and gave him the most beautiful blessing. Just before 4:30pm, Talon was taken off life support. We held our precious son in our arms as he passed from his mortal life.
Our perfect tiny Talon is such a blessing to us. We love him fiercely, and we are so grateful to be his parents. We simply cannot convey how grateful we are for our eternal family and a loving Heavenly Father who has provided a way for us to see our very special son again one day.
On Wednesday nights during the Fall/Winter, Brandon plays basketball with his friends. Normally, Chloe and I spend the evening doing laundry, cleaning up, watching DVR'd episodes of Dancing with the Stars - you know, really exciting things, but this week we made a GRATITUDE TURKEY to send to Eric on his mission in Baton Rouge. Chloe loves Eric; she prays for "Eric's Mission" and Eric to be safe every time she says her prayers. Cute, right? She did a great job making her turkey, with a little help from her mom :). I would ask her what she was thankful for and write it on each turkey "feather." She started with Jesus and Heavenly Father, then "Grammer" (which is what she calls my mom), and turned to princesses, Bandit (Eric's dog). We packaged the Gratitude Turkey up with some treats and mailed it to Elder Carter. It was "SO FUN"! (Chloe's favorite thing to say is,"Please, Mom! It will be SOOOO FUN!)
