{Six} Months

Our tiny Talon would have been six months old in April, and it has been six months since he passed away so quickly after his birth. There isn't a moment that passes that we don't miss him. He is always on our minds. We talk of him often. I am happy that he has remained such a strong presence in our family. I was so worried that we would forget about him, but we cherish our little guy. These past six months have been rough - there is no way to sugarcoat it. It has been an emotional trainwreck - such absolute sorrow, moments of hopelessness, and just hours of tears, but we have also been so richly blessed. The love of our Heavenly Father has simply been undeniable as we have literally felt comfort, peace, and a return to joy and happiness. Our life had changed - so drastically, but I hope that through this painful departure from our plans, we will become better people, better parents, just better.

Chloe and I spent an hour or so at Talon's grave on his six month birthday before Brandon met us there. It has become a special place for our family. We call it "Talon's special place." We talk about how special Talon is while we are there, and Chloe sings primary songs. It is always sweet to spend a few moments there. I am grateful for both of our children, but our little Chloe has just become my best little friend. When my heartbreak sneaks out and tears stream down my face, she will softly ask, "Are you sad for baby Talon, Mom?" and she will whisper, "Don't cry, don't cry, it will be okay." I really do belive that it will all be okay. I know that my Heavenly Father has a divine plan for our little family and for Talon, and in the end we will find a very "happily every after."

 
A cute little story - Chloe talks about Talon all of the time, literally everyday. She calls him on her pretend cell phone, she sings little songs about him, and she often looks at the little pictures of him around our house. When Talon passed away, I gave Brandon a Willow Tree figuring of a father holding a baby, Liz gave me a Willow Tree of a mother holding a baby, and my neighbors in St. George, The Rogers, gave Chloe a little Willow Tree holding a baby. Chloe moved all the statues together on my bedside table a few weeks ago so she could see Mom, Dad and Chloe holding baby Talon. My mom has several Willow Tree angels, and during our recent trip to St. George, Chloe and Maddie moved all of her Willow Trees to a table that displays a picture of Talon. My mom tried to move the Willow Trees back to their original spots, and Maddie told her, "No, Grandma, me and Chloe moved the angels special for Talon!" Needless to say, the Willow Tree angels stayed by Talon's picture. Such sweet little girls!